{"id":79117,"date":"2024-01-17T13:14:37","date_gmt":"2024-01-17T19:14:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/casel.org\/?post_type=blogposts&#038;p=79117"},"modified":"2024-07-30T14:15:42","modified_gmt":"2024-07-30T19:15:42","slug":"even-if-it-seems-like-sel-isnt-working-keep-at-it-heres-why","status":"publish","type":"blogposts","link":"https:\/\/casel.org\/blog\/even-if-it-seems-like-sel-isnt-working-keep-at-it-heres-why\/","title":{"rendered":"Even if it Seems Like SEL &#8220;Isn&#8217;t Working,&#8221; Keep At It. Here&#8217;s Why."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"key-points\">Key Points<\/h2><a class=top href=\"#top\">Back to top<\/a>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>When an approach to children&#8217;s behavior like SEL &#8220;isn&#8217;t working,&#8221; it often means it &#8220;didn&#8217;t work right away.&#8221; This can be particularly true for teachers working with students still reeling from the pandemic.  <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>An SEL researcher reminds us that often SEL is working &#8220;under the surface&#8221; and offers suggestions for staying focused over the long term.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Given my work in attachment, parent-child relationships, and children\u2019s social-emotional development, I would frequently get questions for advice from my girlfriends when we were all raising young children, including struggles such as sleep schedule, car seat refusals, and picky eating. Often they would say, \u201cI tried your advice and it didn\u2019t work.\u201d Because I was experiencing many of these same challenges, I had enough empathy to realize what they mostly meant by this: \u201cIt didn\u2019t work <em>right away<\/em>, my child is still tantruming, and I am too exhausted to keep this up.\u201d Parents discover that at all ages, \u201cgetting to yes\u201d means playing the long game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And so it is in classrooms, but with the added challenge of an exponentially increased child-to-adult ratio. While we know that social and emotional learning (SEL) is not intended to be a \u201cbehavior management system\u201d per se, high quality implementations should, ideally, prevent many behavior challenges from arising in the first place. But many is not all, and ideal doesn\u2019t exactly describe the conditions in schools today. Throw in a youth mental health crisis that has been growing from before the pandemic and dramatically since, not to mention teachers\u2019 own stress and burnout (Irwin et al., 2023), and holding on to those non-reactive, compassionate SEL strategies can feel impossible. We might wonder, \u201cWhy are we still doing this?\u201d\u2014even though we could probably write a dissertation on why we <em>should<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So how and why do we keep going? My colleagues and I have learned so much as we have journeyed with the participants in our SEL trainings, during this post-COVID, post-George Floyd, late-stage capitalism world, from which I offer the following thoughts for educators and those who support them:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"anticipate-grief\"><strong>Anticipate Grief<\/strong><\/h2><a class=top href=\"#top\">Back to top<\/a>\n\n\n\n<p>Grief is what happens when you know what is best to do for your students but often cannot. This may be because of systemic barriers, lack of support in your school, or your own human limitations. The teachers we support have told us that almost nothing is as powerful for them as being truly seen for how difficult it is to be a teacher nowadays. Allow the grief in and the shame out. If we had received authentic SEL when we were kids, we would already be facile with self-compassion, but we didn\u2019t, so we\u2019re not. When teachers can feel seen for their grief rather than having it be ignored or explained away, this can be healing in itself and provide some of that needed energy to keep at it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"consider-that-acting-out-can-be-a-sign-of-trust\"><strong>Consider That \u201cActing Out\u201d Can Be a Sign of Trust<\/strong><\/h2><a class=top href=\"#top\">Back to top<\/a>\n\n\n\n<p>Just like kids are \u201cbetter for the babysitter\u201d than for their parents, remember that students, too, act out where they feel safe and can trust that care won\u2019t be withdrawn. Considering the systems of oppression that bear down on so many students, it\u2019s even more critical to provide an oasis of steady, shame-free, and unearned connection. Threatening students with removal of your positive regard never works, but staying connected might.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"remember-your-students-are-watching\"><strong>Remember Your Students Are Watching<\/strong><\/h2><a class=top href=\"#top\">Back to top<\/a>\n\n\n\n<p>Even when you can\u2019t detect positive changes, students benefit from seeing you use SEL with others. Adults know this from those instances when we would have preferred that children weren\u2019t watching us so carefully. When we continue to show empathy, mercy, and healthy boundaries\u2014especially when it\u2019s difficult\u2014even if a particular student may not be able to take that in, the other students watching will, both as a model for how they might be treated in similar circumstances as well as how they ought to treat others who are having a hard time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"get-clear-on-the-purpose-of-sel\"><strong>Get Clear on the Purpose of SEL<\/strong><\/h2><a class=top href=\"#top\">Back to top<\/a>\n\n\n\n<p>What is SEL for? The <a href=\"https:\/\/casel.org\/fundamentals-of-sel\/what-is-the-casel-framework\/\">CASEL 5<\/a> are just the building blocks toward the ultimate goal of what we want for our society\u2019s children. Some define this pinnacle as thriving in a democratic society; I like to frame it as liberation and self-actualization. But what do such lofty goals mean in the day-to-day? In <em>Beyond Discipline: From Compliance to Community<\/em>, Alfie Kohn (2006) suggested changing the question from \u201cHow do I get children to do what I want?\u201d to \u201c\u2019What do children need?\u201d\u2014followed immediately by \u2018How can we meet those needs?\u2019\u201d (p. xv). We can turn the lofty into the practical by asking whether a particular response to a \u201cproblem behavior\u201d will help a child discover who they are supposed to be, rather than simply what they are supposed to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"reframe-consider-say\"><strong>Reframe, Consider, Say<\/strong><\/h2><a class=top href=\"#top\">Back to top<\/a>\n\n\n\n<p>My colleagues and I have developed our own model for actualizing this aspirational \u201csweet spot\u201d between SEL and behavior guidance, in which we support teachers to <em>Reframe <\/em>behavior disruptions as needs (e.g., \u201ccan\u2019t stay in seat\u201d becomes \u201cthinks better while moving\u201d or \u201cis curious about other students\u2019 work\u201d), <em>Consider <\/em>whether a radically non-typical response would \u201cmake the world stop turning\u201d (e.g., is staying in one place really necessary at this time, or for this child?), and pause before they <em>Say <\/em>their verbal response (e.g., \u201cShould we do a gallery walk so we can see each other\u2019s projects?\u201d). While it is natural for teachers to initially fear an endless stream of exceptions, the \u201cprosocial classroom\u201d is one where teachers are \u201ccomfortable with a level of ambiguity and chaos\u201d (Jennings &amp; Greenberg, 2009) that is all part of the long game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"sit-with-the-reframing-part\"><strong>Sit With the Reframing Part<\/strong><\/h2><a class=top href=\"#top\">Back to top<\/a>\n\n\n\n<p>Faber &amp; Mazlish (2008) refer to this process as \u201cfreeing a child who is locked in a role\u201d (p. 194). I love this way of thinking about reframing students\u2019 negative behaviors, and I much prefer it to the trope of \u201ccatching children being good.\u201d If we see children\u2019s patterned acting out as a trap from which they would rather be free instead of an inconvenience to us, then our approach becomes about liberating them as opposed to coaxing them into pleasing us. In turn, we are liberated from our role as enforcers, which was of course not why we got into the profession of education.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So while SEL may sometimes feel like it\u2019s not working, it is, though perhaps more slowly or beneath the surface than our eyes can see in the moment. When we stay steady in the storm, as well as repair our inevitable mistakes, students feel it even if they don\u2019t show it. While you\u2019re out there fighting this good fight, know that there are those of us holding space for the grief and overwhelm around the tall task before you, as well as the inadequacy of the solutions you are offered. We see you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Citations<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Faber, A., &amp; Mazlish, E. (2008). <em>How to talk so kids can learn<\/em>. Simon and Schuster.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Jennings, P. A., &amp; Greenberg, M. T. (2009). The prosocial classroom: Teacher social and emotional competence in relation to student and classroom outcomes. <em>Review of educational research<\/em>, <em>79<\/em>(1), 491-525.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kohn, A. (2006). <em>Beyond discipline: From compliance to community<\/em>. ASCD.<br>Irwin, V., Wang, K., Tezil, T., Zhang, J., Filbey, A., Jung, J., &#8230; &amp; Parker, S. (2023). Report on the Condition of Education 2023. NCES 2023-144. <em>National Center for Education Statistics<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>The views in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of CASEL<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em><strong>Amanda Moreno, Ph.D.<\/strong>, is an associate professor at Erikson Institute, founder and director of the SELove research and professional development group, and mother of two wonderful teenagers who aren\u2019t buying what this world is selling.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Related Posts<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/casel.org\/blog\/the-key-to-efficacy-dont-forget-to-look-for-the-successes\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Key to Efficacy: Don\u2019t Forget to Look for the Successes<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/casel.org\/blog\/how-trauma-informed-strategies-transformed-my-classroom\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">How Trauma-Informed Strategies Transformed My Classroom<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/casel.org\/blog\/5-meaningful-standards-based-sel-activities-for-the-classroom\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">5 Meaningful, Standards-Based SEL Activities for the Classroom<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"write-for-us\"><strong>Write for Us<\/strong><\/h2><a class=top href=\"#top\">Back to top<\/a>\n\n\n\n<p>Are you interested in writing for CASEL\u2019s blog,&nbsp;<em>Constellations<\/em>?&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/docs.google.com\/document\/d\/1zSZFveKA8xsmlCADpfDP8t-y9emN0qswHQh1MnfmqBI\/edit\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Learn more<\/a>&nbsp;about what we\u2019re looking for and how to pitch your idea!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Key Points Back to top Given my work in attachment, parent-child relationships, and children\u2019s social-emotional development, I would frequently get questions for advice from my girlfriends when we were all raising young children, including struggles such as sleep schedule, car seat refusals, and picky eating. Often they would say, \u201cI tried your advice and it [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":26603,"featured_media":79119,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","theme":[200],"class_list":["post-79117","blogposts","type-blogposts","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","theme-viewpoints"],"acf":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/casel.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/blogposts\/79117","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/casel.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/blogposts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/casel.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/blogposts"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casel.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/26603"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casel.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=79117"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casel.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/79119"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/casel.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=79117"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"theme","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/casel.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/theme?post=79117"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}